The Ten: A Manifesto

What drives you? What are your nonnegotiables? You'd better get crystal clear on them... because if you don't, you may end up drifting every time a new opportunity comes your way. Yes, you can do anything... but you can't do everything.

What's that saying? "Stand for something or you'll fall for anything"? It's trite. But it's true. Early on in marriage and fatherhood I simply woke up one day stretched way beyond thin and had to make some hard choices. (Remind me to tell you about the 'Red Roof Inn' when we see each other.) But the bottom line is I sat down and decided I had to have certain signposts in my life-- certain guardrails-- that I needed to put into place. Things that, once decided, were never up for debate. Things that were more important than money or friends or prestige... that we not negotiable.

They are, in order:

1. Faith. Love God. Love people. Embrace the mystery. learning to walk that journey is a big deal. it helps me remember just how big the divine, the infinite, is and it helps me remember how small and finite I am. That’s good for me. that’s humbling.

2. Family. My first mission, first calling, first job is my family. There are 7.8 billion people on the planet, but family comes first. Everyone else comes later. If I hop online every day and talk about connection and relationships and leadership, and my family is a wreck, i have failed.

3. Gratitude. Every 'good' thing I have and every blessing I enjoy is a gift directly from the Divine. Every 'bad' thing I endure is something that has passed thru the hand of the Divine. Give thanks for all of it.

4. Integrity. Who you are is more important than what you produce. Keep your promises. Be honest. Treat people well.

5. Growth. In an abundant universe, there is always something new to learn, see, experience, do, and give. Be curious and open. Never retire (lit. ‘Draw back.) from an opportunity to grow. Never ‘retire’ from growth.

6. Relationships. Life is not about money. It is about relationships. Friendships. Connections. I believe that I am rich in relationships… when you genuinely enjoy people, and enjoy serving them, you love people and use things, not the other way around. Remember that people are hard to hate close up. Move in.

7. Passion. Do what you love with excellence, perseverance, and enthusiasm. If you are not in love with what you do, find something else. Do not waste your one-and-only life on anything less.

8. Work. Use your God-given talents and abilities without reservation or critique. Strive to be the hardest working person in the room. Go all in 100% or do not go at all. It’s not about being perfect. It’s about being authentic. Done is better than good. Do what you can, as competently as possible, and move on. I have friends that are ‘perfectionists’… actually they’re just afraid. A crooked house is better than homelessness.

9. Play. You don’t work a violin. You play it. As adults, we’ve lost our sense of play… yet playfulness is what unleashes your creativity. Be creative. Learn. Grow. Explore. Experiment.. Creativity is the space where thoughts become things and you can’t get there without play. Recreation is re-creation.

10. Plant. Kind of like being a gardener. Sow seeds every day. Be mindful of the seasons. Cultivate good soil. Plant good seed, then feed, water, and nurture what you’ve planted. Fight off any predator that comes to take it away. Remember that harvest takes time... it’s a long game. You can’t be fruitful unless you’re seed-full. bam.

I've used this list for almost 20 years now. It is my constitution. My manifesto. My own personal contract with myself and the universe, declaring where I stand. (Understand that you may have different values and perspectives on some of these-- or all of them!)

These are my Ten. What are yours? Do you know ? They may be similar... or they may be wildly different. Either way you need to recognize what they are and make sure you’re moving your life in the direction that aligns most with your values. Don’t spend your one-and-only life wandering aimlessly.

I’d challenge you to sit down and write them out… you’ll discover some things about yourself. And you’’ll be glad you did it.